Love Language #5 Acts of Service

Is the Act of Service a way of parenting that you have thought of? I hadn’t thought of it quite that way. I parented out of love, care, and the desire for our children to grow up as loving productive adults.

We are serving our children when we support them by taking them to sports, dance or music lessons and their games or recitals. I looked forward to watching our girls in dance practice and was excited to attend their recitals.

Supporting our children by questioning them about and helping them with their homework is another important area we can be of service to our children. I helped the girls as much as I could. When it came to math, however, I had to leave the help to my husband.

When our children are grown they will see how we blessed them with acts of service in all of the support given them while growing up.

Before we can do acts of service for our children we must take care of ourselves. By getting enough sleep, eating properly, and exercise we are more physically capable to handle the time we need to give to our children.

We also need to have a strong emotional outlook, self-esteem, and a balanced marriage relationship. The children need to see their parent or parents have separate relationships with others. It’s important that they see that everything doesn’t always center around them.

In a previous blog, I shared how our daughters made dinner for us and left us alone for the evening. It was so sweet of them to give us our special time. It was also a good lesson for them to learn how to do an Act of Service for others.

With our physical and emotional lives in balance, we are better equipped to raise strong well-rounded children.

Jesus taught us to serve others when He washed His disciple’s feet:


After that, He poured water into a basin

and began t

o wash the disciples’ feet,

and to wipe them with the towel with which

He was girded. Then He came to Simon Peter.

And Peter said to Him, “Lord, are You washing my feet?”

Jesus answered and said to him, “What I am doing

you do not understand now, but you will know after this.”

Peter said t

o Him, “You shall never wash my feet!”

Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you,

you have no part with Me.” Simon Peter said to Him,

“Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!”

10 Jesus said to him, “He who is bathed needs only

to wash his feet, but is completely clean; and you

are clean, but not all of you.” 11 For He knew who

would betray Him; therefore, He said, “You are not all clean.”

12 So when He had washed their feet, taken His garments,

and sat down again, He said to them, “Do you know

what I have done to you? 13 You call Me Teacher

and Lord, and you say well, for so I am.

14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet,

you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I

have given you a

n example, that you should do as

I have done to you. 16 Most assuredly, I say to you,

a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who

is sent greater than he who sent him. 17 If you know

these things, blessed are you if you do them.[1]

If the Son of God can serve us, then we should happily do Acts of Service for our children.

As our children grow we need to teach them how to do different things around the house, such as cleaning, laundry, ironing, and cooking. They need these skills to be able to eventually live on their own.

How do you show your children Acts of Service? How do they show you Acts of Service?

[1] The New King James Version. (1982). (Jn 13:5–17). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.

8 replies
  1. Beckie Lindsey
    Beckie Lindsey says:

    Jann, something, in particular, jumped off the page to me: “Before we can do acts of service for our children we must take care of ourselves. By getting enough sleep, eating properly, and exercise we are more physically capable to handle the time we need to give to our children.”
    Thank you for these wise words and for these posts on the five love languages. Excellent information for raising kids and for all relationships.

  2. Julie Lavender
    Julie Lavender says:

    Thank you for reminding us that serving is a love language!! I still enjoy serving and encouraging my children, even though the ‘baby’ of four is almost twenty!!

  3. Jann
    Jann says:

    Thank you Beckie. It’s important to take care of yourself. By taking care of yourself you will be able to handle more. Make sure you take time to do something just for you each day. Even if it’s only 10 minutes, it will help. god Bless you.

  4. Jann
    Jann says:

    Thank you, Julie. They are still our babies. My baby is 35. I can’t imagine how she got to be that age yet. I still feel like I’m in my early twenties, at least in my head.

  5. Heather Bock
    Heather Bock says:

    This one at least comes natural for most of us as parents! We have to serve our children all the time, but it’s great to do it with an attitude of love—doing it not because we HAVE to but because we love them. That could change everything!

  6. Carole Sparks
    Carole Sparks says:

    I’m with Heather that this one is perhaps more natural for parents. Often times, however, the kids take it for granted. Every once in a while, I like to remind my children (in a gentle, non-guilt-inducing way) that I wash their clothes, cook their dinner, and take them places because I love them. I also ask them to demonstrate love for each other by serving…maybe picking up someone else’s dirty dishes or something like that. The key to all these “languages” is that they spring from love and speak to love.
    Thanks for posting these, Jann!

  7. Jann
    Jann says:

    Thank you, Carole. Serving is an important lesson for all of us. I applaud you asking the children to help each other. All of the love languages need to start at home. Do you have a subject you would like me to approach when I’m done with this book?

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