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Touch Through The Growing Years

 

The 5 languages of Love

 

 

Touch in each stage of life is different.

For infants and toddlers, it’s easy to give a lot of touch and loving cuddles. Both boys and girls need all of the love and comforting touches they can get.

Things have changed a lot from when my parents raised me. At that time almost, every mom stayed home and took care of the kids.

When it was my turn to be the mom, I stayed home until the youngest was in first grade. Then I wanted something else to do and went to work at a Hallmark store during school hours.

Now it’s our daughters turns to be moms and they both work full time. This seems to be the norm for most families these days.

In looking for a good place to care for their children they interviewed several places before making a choice. The final decision was made with the daycare that cared and reacted with the children in the rooms the most. The caregivers that showed the most loving care from diaper changes, to feeding and even cuddles while putting them down for naps was critical in making their choice.

When giving babies and toddler’s love and good touch they will become adults with a healthier sexual outlook and better self-esteem.

When the children become school-age it’s important to send them off to school with hugs. This can give them a positive start to their day. There is so much new for them at school that they need that little extra reassurance before they head out for the day. The hug at the end of the day can be just as important, especially if they have

had a challenging day.

Boys can sometimes resist being hugged. There are ways to still give them reassuring touches. A pat on the back is an easy way to touch without a hug.

Our seven-year-old grandson frequently acts like he doesn’t want hugs. Sometimes I’ll shake his hand or rough up his hair. Other times I’ll act like I’m coming after him to hug and kiss him. He’ll take off and I’ll chase. Inevitably he’ll back himself into a corner (on purpose) and I do get the occasional hug and kiss.

All children of this age still want the hugs when they are sick, hurt or upset. They can also need more comfort when something has happened

that disrupts things at home.

Next, we come to the pre-teen and teen kids. This can be challenging. They want to break away, yet they still want their full support system to be there for them. Girls especially need reassurance and hugs from their dads to give them a healthy look at men as they grow older.

Boys and girls both need this reassurance to be more sure of themselves. Also, to handle peer pressure better as they go through the teen years.

Unfortunately, there is also touch that shouldn’t be going on. We hear stories on the news frequently about teachers being arrested because of inappropriate behavior. Also, the negative activity on the internet. This is so sad and it’s the children that are the ones who are really suffering.

What ways can you share with us that helped you in the transition from age group to age group?

Love Is The Foundation

The 5 Love Languages

By

Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell

 

Chapter 1: Love Is The Foundation

 

Each of our children are different and need to be shown love in ways that will speak to them. If things change in our daily lives it can affect our children. Such as a change in jobs which demand more time for a parent to be away from home. Another change can be the parent that was always at home to begin a job away from home. The children can feel the change and they may feel like they aren’t loved as much because they aren’t getting the attention they were used to having. There can be many other changes in our lives that can affect how our children react.

Until we find out why they have a change in their behavior, they will feel like they are being deprived of love. It’s important to talk with them and question the changes they are going through. Make sure they don’t think you are mad at them.

They can fall behind in school, close themselves off from family and friends and won’t meet their potential. The child needs to know that your love isn’t based on what they do or don’t do, but that as a parent you love them no matter what. Tell them that you may not like what they do or say at times, but that you still love them.

In this age of instant media and social media I imagine it’s harder for parents to know the best way to approach their children. It seems like there is always something going on, we’re told things like “It’s all about me.” Everywhere we turn there is violence, which can cause a negative effect as well.

Families seem to be going in so many different directions and don’t have as much family time. When I was growing up it seemed like everyone went to church. It’s just what you did on Sunday morning. The only thing open was the hospital and a few restaurants. It was a day to spend with family. On Saturday you made sure you had the food you needed and gas in your car, if not you had to wait until Monday. I believe the change in having stores open on Sunday’s was the beginning of the downfall of families spending time together. It seems to be getting harder and harder to just have family time.

Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell have come up with labels for the different kids of love that all of us need especially children:

The 5 Love Languages are:

  • Physical touch
  • Words of affirmation
  • Quality time
  • Gifts
  • Acts of service

Physical touch

We all need some amount of touch. Some more than others. My husband will walk by me and run his hand across my shoulders. This gives me a warm feeling of his love, that he is reaching out to let me know he’s there and loves me. Frequently when I am cooking dinner he will come up behind me and kiss me on the neck. Without words he’s saying I love you and appreciate that you are making a meal for us to share.

For our kids we can show love in touch by tickling, wrestling, or a playful pat on the behind. Some children and adults need hugs and touch all of the time. Some don’t like to be touched as much, we’re all different. This can depend on how we were raised and how much love and affection we received. It’s also a personal thing that is due to how God put us together. Some of us also need to hear the words I love you.

Next time we’ll talk about: Words of affirmation.

What are some of the physical ways you reach out to others?

The 5 Love Languages

The 5 Love Languages

By: Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell

 

I just learned of this book from some homeschool teachers. It’s a good book to use as discussion starters. I encourage you to buy the book and join in the discussion.

Each of us is different in how we experience love. As parents we are responsible to help our children to know that they are loved. We also need to figure out what each of our children need in order to feel loved. They must know that they are loved no matter what. We may not like their actions, but we still love them. Our unconditional love won’t spoil them. Giving of things rather than love and time is what can spoil a child. Keep in mind the age of the children, the way we show love may change as they get older.

They are facing so many more hurdles than we did. The social media can have a very negative affect on our children.

The 5 Love Languages are:

  • Physical touch
  • Words of affirmation
  • Quality time
  • Gifts
  • Acts of service

In the past we worried about self-esteem. A lot of parents went too far and praised the kids for everything. Giving awards for just being at the game, or activity. They lost the learning they should have from accepting that they can’t always win in life. The kids have a false sense of always being the best and that others should always praise them. They can also go in the opposite direction by thinking that they can’t do anything right and have bad self-esteem. Being a parent trying to walk the balance beam of helping our children become strong caring adults is very difficult. Learning the 5 Love Languages can be a big help in learning how to best reach out to our children. Remember to look at the stage your child is in and make adjustments in how you show the different love languages.

Have you read this book? If so how has it helped you? If not do you think this will help you understand you children better?

Happy Birthday Jesus

Merry Christmas. I pray that you and your family have a wonderful time celebrating the birth of our Savior.

Jesus came to be born of flesh to save us from our sinful nature. It would have been amazing to  have been in the stable and let Him hold my finger in His hand. To look into His eyes and see the amazing love that had to have been there.

To know what His life would be like, and yet Jesus chose to go through all of it because He loved us so much.

As a man He walked the land and talked to all who would listen to Him. He shared the ways to change their lives and come to have God as their true leader. Even His disciples didn’t really understand completely who He was and what kind of leader He was to be. Everyone thought He was going to be an earthly king. What He came to offer was so much more, and so amazing.

What if we could sit and talk with Jesus now, what would you ask Him?

A Lesson of Love and Nature

This can be a fun and good lesson to do with your children.

Go out in your yard, a park or in the woods. Spread out a blanket and tell them to sit quietly, to watch and listen to the birds. Now talk about what they have seen.

Ask them:

  • Do the birds plant seeds to grow their food?
  • Do the birds weed their garden?
  • Do the birds harvest/pick their food from the garden?
  • Do the birds have a cupboard to put their food?
  • Where do the birds get their food and water?

The fun part might be their answers depending on their age. Now tell them to watch the birds more closely. What are they doing when the land on a tree, plant or the ground? Explain how they get their food from the flowers, trees, and bugs. Also, how they are able to get water from ponds and puddles.

Let’s the first part of today’s verse:

Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them.

Now talk about how God watches over the birds and provides food and water for them. That they only have to fly about and get their food whenever they are hungry. Or look for a pond or puddle and can have a drink.

Next read:

And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?

Explain to your children how much God loves them. God gives us the ability to grow food and make a safe place to live. He gave us Jesus to show us how to live and please God. Also, to take all of our sins away when He died on the cross.

He then gave us the gift of the Holy Spirit to speak to us in our hearts and guide us to do what is best for us and those around us.

Now:

Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

This part of the verse is for you and the kids:

Calm your fears and that of the children with the assurance that God will care for you. He knows your needs before you do. If you listen for His guidance and follow His directions, you will be cared for. This doesn’t mean that you won’t have problems or illness, but that He will be with you and comfort you in all circumstances, because of His love for you. If you worry it won’t add a moment to your life, but can cause you to lose a moment because of wasting your time on something you cannot control.

 

Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? [1]

 

 

 

 

[1] Tyndale House Publishers. (2013). Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Mt 6:26–27). Carol Stream,

IL: Tyndale House Publishers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

How Are Our Sins Taken Away?

What can you do to have your sins taken away?

Believe, that God has offered you the gift of forgiveness.

Jesus took all of our sins into His body when He died on the cross. He took them away from us and put them in hell. He took the sins of all people from Adam and Eve to the end of time.

We do continue to sins daily, sometimes minute by minute. It is human nature to sin. Even a newborn baby is sinful. Why? Babies sin because they are completely self-centered. All they care about is their needs. They want food, to be dry, and for us to pay attention to their every whim.

It’s natural for us to want others to care for and about us. We have to make the choice to push sin aside. We have to pray asking God:

  • To forgive our sin
  • Help us to not be self-centered
  • To reach out to help others
  • To help us to share God’s love with everyone around us

It is our responsibility to learn all we can by reading the Bible, and to have fellowship with other believers. If we study the Word with others we can help each other understand how to stay away from sin. As we learn we are guided by God to share His message and bring more people to know and love Him. It is His desire to have everyone join Him in heaven.

God is a loving Father that deeply cares for us. He proved it by taking our sins away. He bore the pain.  His wounds are what healed us.

What can you do to help you children learn about being freed from sin?

  • Tell them that God loves them even more than you
  • Read the Bible to them
  • Tell them how Jesus took their sins away
  • When they do something wrong explain how it is a sin

How can you share with others that our sins are taken away?

He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed. [1]

 

[1] Tyndale House Publishers. (2013). Holy Bible: New Living Translation (1 Pe 2:24). Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.

Nothing Can Separate Us From God!

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.[1] Rom. 8:38–39

 

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love.

This is hard to imagine. We are sinful by nature. Even when we don’t mean to do things wrong we do. Our thoughts get us in trouble frequently.

 

                                                                             Neither death nor life,

Whether we are try to live the best life we can, or have died. Neither can separate us from the love of God.

 

Neither angels nor demons,

There are angels around us to help us, sometimes we don’t understand what they are trying to do for us. There are also demons that try to get us to get us to turn from God and His plans for us. Both could separate us from God, but He will not turn from us.

 

Neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow,

Separation can come from fear and worry. Being afraid or worrying will not help in the least bit. It only succeeds in causing us problems. Turn your fear and worry over to God.

 

—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.

If you turn your life over to God, and accept His love you will not be separated from Him.

 

No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

This gift of love and no worry of separation from God is so amazing. Our minds find this hard to believe. We daily think and do things wrong, it’s just our human nature. We can’t help it. That’s why we have received the gift of the Holy Spirit to intercede for us and close the gap of separation. The Holy Spirit takes our words and actions and filter them before they reach God, because we cannot go before Him in our sinful nature.

What makes you be afraid or worry? Have you felt pulled by demons? Share at the bottom of the blog your thoughts.

[1] Tyndale House Publishers. (2013). Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Ro 8:38–39). Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.