Teach Respect Don’t Spare The Rod

If we spare the rod with our children we are not being good parents. We need to discipline, but not abuse, our children. This will teach them right from wrong. A very important lesson for them to learn early. It will make them better and stronger adults.

Teaching them how to respect those around them includes their friends as well as adults. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect.

I remember as a young girl in middle school visiting with a friend. I was complaining about my parents being so strict. They weren’t going to let me go to a party because they didn’t know the parents of the child having the party. My friend told me that she wished her parents cared enough to tell her no sometimes. That as long as she wasn’t in trouble they hardly seemed to care what she did. This gave me a new insight on why my parents made the rules for me. They loved me and wanted to make sure I would be safe.

When our children came along I did my best to be involved with their friends and to meet their parents. There were times I felt that I had to say no to something, but I always gave them a reason. One of those times was when our oldest asked for a new pair of tennis shoes just like her friends were getting. We went shopping and she showed me the shoes she wanted. I told her they were too expensive and took her to a different rack. She reluctantly chose a pair, but really didn’t want her friends to see them saying, “They’re ugly compared to the ones the other girls have.”

I responded, “Just wear them tomorrow and see what they say.”

When she came home from school the next day she was all smiles. “The girls thought my shoes were really cute, and wanted a pair like mine. Thanks, Mom, you were right.”

A hard lesson to learn, but she learned that you don’t have to always have what everyone else has.

What rules or lessons do you have for your children to help them grow up to be responsible and respectful adults?

Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them. Proverbs 13:24

7 replies
  1. Jann
    Jann says:

    Thank you Deborah for your response. I looked at your website, very nice. What do you write besides blogs?

  2. Katherine
    Katherine says:

    My upbringing sounds a lot like yours, Jann. My parents were strict and expected respect. I wore mostly hand-me-downs. But, I learned the lesson well and was loving, but firm with my children. I view the “rod of discipline” as being firm, consistent, but loving discipline, not physical punishment. I never had to spank my children–clear expectations and “the look” were enough. There would be less conflict and our world would be much more peaceful if parents disciplined their children appropriately. Thanks for sharing this important message.

  3. Jann
    Jann says:

    Thank you Katherine for your response. I only spanked our girls a few times. The look was usually all it took for me too. I’ll check out your website. I hope to talk with you more.

  4. Heather Bock
    Heather Bock says:

    Jann, yes, I agree that discipline is very important. If I didn’t discipline my three, I’d be in big trouble since I homeschool them! We’d never get anything done. After all, as much as I’d like to try to make it all fun, some of it is just plain hard work and not desirable to a young child. It’s certainly good for them, though.

  5. Jann
    Jann says:

    Thank you Heather. Discipline is hard, but in the long run our kids will turn out better adults for it. Plus they will be easier to live with.

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